I choose you

 Not because you were the safe choice. 

You were the most desired. 

And you still are. 

What worries me the most

 Is that I’m not enough for you. 

Not enough to meet your wants. 

Not enough to fulfill your desires. 

Not enough to know you’re uncensored thoughts and reflections. 

Sluggish

 Been abit meh lately. Like i want to do things. but always like no drive or feel like no energy. or if i try to make the time i'll find excuses to no do something when the time comes and end up nuaing again. I wont say it is depression or anything like it. but i just feel so much lack of motivation. and my recent habits also seem to be reflective of this also.

i should stop making excuses.

To my son

 Dear son,

You are only eleven. But I am very proud of the person you are becoming. Love you forever. 

Strong zeros

 The thing about being drunk for me is mentally, i am sane. Like i can still male perfect sense of everything and i am fully aware of what is going internally.

Externally though, it is fuck all.