to Deborah "Azura" Su

hi. i dont really know what i came here to do or write about. but i felt a need to start something. i guess maybe there's something in me that wants to say something but i havent figured it out in whole or found the right words to describe it. so i'm just typing along as i think. which is pretty awesome if only my fingers could keep up with the speed of which i think. haha

so yes dear, in less than 2 weeks we both will finally, legally, be husband and wife. and at mommy's wish, we are now doing our 2 weeks apart thing which i know you're very unhappy with but just bear with it ok? in time we will look back on this and just think abt how silly everything was and have stories to share with our kids next time as we make them do stupid things too.

just thinking about what baba was telling me, about marriage life and all. i guess so far all you've seen me is calm and not very worried about the whole affair. but deep down dear, i'm not. i'm just as afraid of the future, of the unknown. i'm not certain of what will happen for us and that things will all be super smooth and happy for us. there will be alot of challenges for us, like that 'kampong' experience but worse since it'll come from family instead.

there's alot to be afraid of actually dear, not just in terms of family and challenges we'll face from married life, but from outside influences too. the kind of behaviours and attitudes i've been exposed to while in station doesnt help this at all dear. and it makes me so very afraid sometimes.

but whatever it is dear, one thing i'm very certain about is that it is you that i want to be married to. and no one else. i have that much faith in us. =) as the song goes, come what may. we'll face it all side by side. or with me carrying you if you get too tired standing. hahahaha ah wells.

well, i dont think i achieved whatever it is i had set out to do. but you gotta admit this has been one of my longer and more interesting posts. so in the end, i guess what i was trying to say cant be expressed in words. i'll try it with hugs and kisses next time we meet.

LOVE YOU!!!