hi =)

The bookout

2012-01-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

where you fetched me in a cab. To save time =)

the day

2012-01-04T19:53:00.001+08:00

we had our super car date

the moment

2012-01-03T12:04:00.003+08:00

we had our first kiss

the place

2012-01-02T16:36:00.004+08:00

where we held hands for the first time

to Deborah "Azura" Su

2011-12-30T00:32:00.001+08:00

hi. i dont really know what i came here to do or write about. but i felt a need to start something. i guess maybe there's something in me that wants to say something but i havent figured it out in whole or found the right words to describe it. so i'm just typing along as i think. which is pretty awesome if only my fingers could keep up with the speed of which i think. haha

so yes dear, in less than 2 weeks we both will finally, legally, be husband and wife. and at mommy's wish, we are now doing our 2 weeks apart thing which i know you're very unhappy with but just bear with it ok? in time we will look back on this and just think abt how silly everything was and have stories to share with our kids next time as we make them do stupid things too.

just thinking about what baba was telling me, about marriage life and all. i guess so far all you've seen me is calm and not very worried about the whole affair. but deep down dear, i'm not. i'm just as afraid of the future, of the unknown. i'm not certain of what will happen for us and that things will all be super smooth and happy for us. there will be alot of challenges for us, like that 'kampong' experience but worse since it'll come from family instead.

there's alot to be afraid of actually dear, not just in terms of family and challenges we'll face from married life, but from outside influences too. the kind of behaviours and attitudes i've been exposed to while in station doesnt help this at all dear. and it makes me so very afraid sometimes.

but whatever it is dear, one thing i'm very certain about is that it is you that i want to be married to. and no one else. i have that much faith in us. =) as the song goes, come what may. we'll face it all side by side. or with me carrying you if you get too tired standing. hahahaha ah wells.

well, i dont think i achieved whatever it is i had set out to do. but you gotta admit this has been one of my longer and more interesting posts. so in the end, i guess what i was trying to say cant be expressed in words. i'll try it with hugs and kisses next time we meet.

LOVE YOU!!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

2011-12-25T09:51:00.000+08:00

Happy 1 year love!

and i promise not to let the small things get to me. but if they ever do must slap me ok? hahaha

=)

p.s. 2 more weeks!

less than 3 weeks

2011-12-20T23:16:00.003+08:00

Till I am officially your husband. =)

everyone agrees

2011-12-05T00:47:00.001+08:00

That you're very pretty. =)

2011-12-02T01:51:00.001+08:00

Head has been in a mess lately. Been starting to develop an unhealthy fixation and mindset. Not sure what triggered it. But i don't like it. If i seem odd or distant, its not your fault ok dear? Just need some time to clear my head. Maybe a good nights rest ought to do it. I hope it does.

Whatever it is, don't ever forget that you are the love of my life. =)

p.s. 39 more days!!

Cant sleep

2011-11-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

Hi love.
Dunno if you still read my blog.
Been a long time since i updated.
Heh.
Cant seem to sleep.
Keep thinking of you.
Missing you real bad dear.
I hope we last like this forever.
I hope the passion never dies.
I pray that we grow old and happy together.
We fit so well into each others lives that it feels unnatural when you're not around.
I dont know how i'd manage without you.
I wont leave you.
I promise to marry you.
Because thats what i want too.
Rest well dear.

I love you.

My bed

2011-08-27T02:49:00.001+08:00

Has your smell.

I miss you.

i can't wait

2011-06-20T20:30:00.000+08:00

to spend the rest of my life with you. =)

For some odd reason

2011-05-11T23:35:00.003+08:00

I'm missing you very badly tonight.
Sweet dreams love

200+

2011-04-30T00:35:00.000+08:00

pictures of you and me.
and many many more to go.
=)

but

2011-04-30T00:04:00.002+08:00

i still feel bad

IV

2011-04-25T22:07:00.002+08:00

Happy!

I find that

2011-04-20T10:45:00.001+08:00

Everytime they show those kind of videos to me, the first thing that comes to mind is you. And i always pray that nothing bad happens to you.

You really are

2011-04-15T12:55:00.002+08:00

A dream come true

I think

2011-04-06T23:16:00.001+08:00

So do I.

And i do

2011-03-07T21:38:00.002+08:00

Miss you too.

See you soon love.

I really

2011-02-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

Do wish that I could give you everything that you want

Its been less than a day

2011-02-16T22:49:00.001+08:00

But i already miss you. Alot.

I must learn

2011-02-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

To calm my heart. And be a better voice of reason for myself.

Cause we must always strive to improve ourselves right?

=)

Its because

2011-02-10T06:52:00.000+08:00

You're awesome. And totally worth it.

Like the latest example of how awesome you are: you became facebook friends with my mom on your own accord. Ahahahahaah

Ah wells.

I'm sure you realise

2011-02-07T22:27:00.001+08:00

That i'll still worry about you right?

Cant be helped.

Hi dear

2011-02-03T22:45:00.002+08:00

This update is for you.

=)

25

2011-01-25T23:15:00.001+08:00

Happy one month.

=)

I sincerely

2011-01-20T06:30:00.002+08:00

Hope that you are ok.

you make me

2011-01-11T01:44:00.002+08:00

2011-01-01T19:39:00.000+08:00

special

2010-12-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

thats what you are

=D

2010-12-24T15:10:00.000+08:00

transition

2010-12-23T01:24:00.000+08:00

almost there

riding the high

2010-12-22T13:08:00.000+08:00

and not lose myself to it

last night

2010-12-21T06:13:00.001+08:00

was like wow.

I had a dream

2010-12-19T02:55:00.000+08:00

and it felt so real.

2010-12-18T02:21:00.000+08:00

sigh

2010-12-07T01:22:00.002+08:00

as much as i think otherwise

2010-12-04T11:30:00.000+08:00

i keep losing myself to the void within

hmmm....

2010-12-01T01:47:00.000+08:00

i predict

2010-11-19T02:01:00.001+08:00

its gonna draaaaaaaaaaaaaag

i doubt you will misunderstand this

2010-08-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

fuzzy

2010-08-16T05:54:00.000+08:00

"you're still you after all these years =)"

some things change with time.
and some dont. like my

are you tired?

2010-07-29T15:02:00.000+08:00

cause you've been running through my mind all night long.

no? orh ok then.

hang on to something

2010-07-26T01:48:00.000+08:00

its gonna be a bumpy ride

onward

2010-07-19T03:20:00.002+08:00

When a thing is done, it's done. Don't look back.
Look forward to your next objective.—George C. Marshall

slowly

2010-07-11T18:39:00.004+08:00

I find myself falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole.
Seems like you still have a hold on me.

why yes

2010-06-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

I will have that last bite.

whoosh

2010-06-20T14:58:00.002+08:00

and then it was just all air.

I am

2010-06-10T01:53:00.000+08:00

so full of awesome.

maybe its about time

2010-06-02T02:18:00.000+08:00

i started listening to my friends.

you don't deserve my love.

life

2010-06-01T18:57:00.002+08:00

is that all you got?

bring it. i fucking dare you.

people keep telling me

2010-06-01T02:41:00.000+08:00

that there are many fish in the sea.

but what they dont get is that,
there is only one you.

this has been

2010-05-31T15:58:00.004+08:00

one of the longest weeks of my life.

how long you ask?
thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis long!!!!

=D

conversations

2010-05-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

"hahaha stupid yes.
dont wanna sound conceited but
i could have been a super awesome girlfriend.
dude, i mean, we were golden couple for that one month."

today

2010-05-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

i only received a single message.
and it made my day. =)

edit: ok not the only message. just got one saying i owe someone money. haaaaaa.......

its also funny

2010-05-27T15:36:00.000+08:00

how it seems that things from my past that i've left behind are the ones that bring comfort now.

its funny

2010-05-26T20:56:00.002+08:00

how saving one heart led to two broken hearts instead.

incomplete

2010-05-24T17:01:00.000+08:00

fill in the blanks

2010-05-23T13:31:00.000+08:00

its a sunday afternoon,
and i'm sitting on my bed,
"i probably should bath soon",
a thought that crossed my head.

i gaze around my room,
at the mess that it is in,
it is already half past noon,
and still no messages are in.

it's been a trying day for me,
the day that has already past.
and there's only so much to see,
to make the time pass fast.

i reach out to my phone,
and type a message out.
but then, time alone,
is what this was all about.

i set my phone back down,
and roll over on my bed,
and i try to hide my frown,
with a pillow on my head.

and as i slowly drift,
into a hazy form of sleep,
my phone starts to vibrate,
the message tone starts to peep.

"is it her?" i thought excitedly,
as i scramble to get up,
i grab my phone and press the keys,
wishing with all my luck.

but sad to say it wasn't her,
it was only prak.
i close my phone and roll back over,
and all i can say is " ".

in your head

2010-05-22T22:04:00.003+08:00

it's like brainwashing myself into a language

in all honesty

2010-05-21T23:36:00.002+08:00

i'm really quite lost on what i'm supposed to do.

non stop madness

2010-05-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

so the other day i was out right and then i met my friend who was kinda late but nehmind whatever so we went to the bookstore cause we were thinking we needed to read cause all we've been doing is watching mindless videos on facebook and youtube and i suppsoe it was about time we flexed our reading muscle whatever that was and then in the process we bumped into this other friend of ours who was a girl and damn she was smoking hot like literally her hair was flaming and smoke was oozing out from beneath her skirt and we were like hot diggity damn and we busted our asses out of that bookstore as the books started blazing with the fury of a typhoon as ironic as that may be and suddenly we found ourselves surrounded by a horde of zombies as the stumbled and crawled their way towards the burning bookstore cornering us in what can be called a fiery circle of undead doom but then i came with this brilliant idea of just walking past the undead which we dead and boy was that a good idea as soon enough a humvee came rolling by mowing down everything in its sight with no driver inside which led us to believe that the humvee was alive and it was because then it fucking transformed into a fucking dinosaur and started scooping as many unburnt books as it could as the fire raged on and flinging many more undead with its huge ass tail and likewise my fren and i decided to high tail it and ran in whichever direction that was AWAY from this scene of literary prehistoric undead carnage when suddenly we felt hungry so we stopped by macs for awhile to grab us some BEEF BEEF BEEF and then we carried on home forever remembering that beef is better than cheese the end.

hopefully in another day

2010-05-20T00:04:00.001+08:00

this becomes a reality.

hopefully one day

2010-05-18T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'll show you what's inside.

press 'X' to view

2010-05-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

i tried to discover

2010-05-15T00:56:00.001+08:00

a little something to make me sweeter

its like watching tv in your sleep

2010-05-14T01:16:00.000+08:00

"wat was interesting though was the dream i had.
imagine a sparta like setting. Huge buildings with stone floors and that brownish atmosphere around. i was indoors, walking along a path. people were to the left and right, looking at me as i walked. i had this feeling in me. nervousness, but not really fear. felt like i was about to embark on some really scary business of sorts.

just when i thought the feeling would overwhelm me, a hand reaches from behind and holds my hand. a soft, silky hand, cool to the touch. assuming its a girl (it better be), her fingers intertwine with mine. and she whispered in my ear, "I'll be here with you." As i turn to see who it is, light fills the place. and i realise i'm staring at the ceiling. The soft, cool feeling in between my fingers linger on and slowly fade away.

and i'm back in reality.
damn."

post taken from an old blog of mine from 3 years ago.
just thought i'd put it here cause i'm surprised i actually wrote that in the first place.
it also shows i have very interesting dreams. =)

what you don't know

2010-05-13T00:22:00.001+08:00

Bright on the outside.

Dark inside. Dark and gloomy.

HYEEAAAHH!!

2010-05-11T11:09:00.002+08:00

something about this photo that i like.
possibly because it captures the moment where i'm thinking,
"oh shit oh shit oh shit this is gonna hurt" =D

still, i miss those days of competition fighting.

Telephone

2010-05-05T00:05:00.001+08:00

Its amazing how much a phone call can brighten up your day.

With that being said:

dedicated to my brother

2010-05-04T09:43:00.000+08:00

All the best in your next phase of life!

-

2010-05-03T18:48:00.005+08:00

Maybe i could be,
All you ever dreamed.

falling

2010-05-01T02:45:00.003+08:00

"Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement."

time

2010-04-29T09:59:00.003+08:00

i'll be right here waiting for you.

=)

too big

2010-04-23T10:20:00.000+08:00

last night

2010-04-20T11:40:00.004+08:00

last night i had another dream of you.
and again halfway you disappeared.
actually this time you just said hi and then poof you were gone.
instead of getting all depressed and shit, i woke up feeling refreshed.

finally.

alpha

2010-04-17T15:38:00.005+08:00

sometimes i forget why i started doing some things,
but still carry on doing it for some other reason that comes up along the way.
then reality comes round to remind me why i started in the first place.

i dont know you. but i already dislike you. back off.

for 5 days

2010-02-19T00:09:00.001+08:00

guess where i'm going to?

2010-01-29T15:35:00.001+08:00

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoooooooommmmmmmmmbbbbbbiiiiiiieeeeeeeee

2010-01-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

bbbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Maybe it's better that

2009-12-06T15:57:00.001+08:00

I dont meet with your "boyfriend".

get rejected. swallow sadness. send some faxes.

2009-11-12T16:17:00.000+08:00

i wish

2009-11-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

i could just get over you.

bring it

2009-10-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

singapore in their eyes

2009-10-02T01:03:00.002+08:00

"yes if i had to picture ur country as a chibi anime chara it wud be a pink haired girl wearing lots of fluff and sparkling, and crying whenever someone breaks a traffic rule"

R-ness

2009-09-21T11:45:00.002+08:00

"don't you want these perkulating pecs? touch em."

"looka mah face!"

"i've got a bag full of crabs here. I'm gonna put them in my mouth."

"watashi slap!"

"when god gives you lemons, you FIND YOURSELF A NEW GOD!"

unijade

2009-09-16T23:27:00.002+08:00

hey,

i know its been awhile since that day. and things haven't really been the same. i was browsing through my computer and i stumbled upon some stuff from the time slightly before that. the letters, the photos. and i started thinking again on that day, that period of time of why i did what i did. and honestly speaking, i really dont know what drove me to it. i mean i had mentally talked to myself before, telling myself it was the speed at which things were going, the level of commitment required, the big change in the way i would live.... but now that i think about it again. they seem like really lame excuses. i dunno. i guess you could say i was afraid. afraid of what? hmmm.. the unknown? cause this would be going into territory that would be very very unfamiliar to either of us. and i dont think i have the courage to do something like that. not yet. still though, i wish things didnt turn out the way it did. i wish things would be the way it was before. oh wells, i dont even know if you still read this. even if you did though, i doubt this would be enough for you. but still, at least it got read.

talk to ya soon.

@_@~ oro?!?!

BOO MUGER FUGER!

2009-09-14T17:56:00.000+08:00

my blender

2009-09-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

u is awsumz.

your boyfriend

2009-09-06T01:52:00.000+08:00

is a douchebag.

nom nom

2009-08-24T23:02:00.001+08:00

deep down

2009-08-22T05:49:00.001+08:00

i wonder what you might think,
if you knew that i still have dreams.
of us.

a shot of olive oil

2009-08-18T22:38:00.001+08:00

this search goes on

2009-08-14T14:42:00.001+08:00

on and on

one more day

2009-08-10T12:33:00.000+08:00

to such sweet sorrow.

my wildwood history

2009-07-22T11:26:00.002+08:00

breaking from my blogging habit for abit, i found this on my comp. a little bit of history of when i first got into lifeguard training at wildwood:

" the prc thing?
well its like
i mean they are nice and all
but the little things they do
and like the way they do somethings as a whole
just doesnt roll with the culture here
and then its brings singapore a bad name
because ppl think they are singaporeans
when all the real singaporeans here are all cool and rolling with everything
then like just now also
we have lifeguard training and all
wah
the majority, if not all of the prc, cannot make it man
they dont take the training seriously
play play
dont listen to instructions
i mean come on lah
life guard training eh
u think its all fun and games
but our job seriously deal with ppls lives
u got to be dead serious when it comes to the drills and shit
and not play around and think its all fun and games
then like the instructor clearly damn irritated with them already lah
then we as singaporeans like wth also lah
they say say they from singapore when they are not and then go and pull funny shit like this
bring us all down
in the house i stay also
walau eh
already say dont wet the bathroom floor
everytime i go in it looks like there was a thunderstorm in there
then the kitchen
cook cook eat eat
but dunno how to clean after that
damn bloody messy and dirty now lah
even i thrown off from cooking my food already"

there ya go.

i dreamt

2009-07-21T16:00:00.001+08:00

of mulata last night.

weird.

all my bags are packed

2009-07-16T09:55:00.000+08:00

i'm ready to go.

and now

2009-07-11T07:13:00.000+08:00

its the final countdown!